


The joys of retail

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Is this a one-shot?, One-Shot, This is what happens when I have weird dreams and write about them, dan is ill, i can't tell, oven gloves, probably a bit long for that, you're a badass medic at your shop idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 15:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2816768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're stuck working for hours without any customers when Dan Howell, your favourite YouTuber, walks in...and promptly faints. </p><p>Oh dear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The joys of retail

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a dream I had. Weird times.

The flow of work that day had been slow and difficult. The shop floor had been virtually abandoned since 6pm down in your department and you were feeling your feet ache more than normal. 

You had a few colleagues working on the same till bank, but you were reasonably new and didn't know them well enough to have a decent conversation anyway.

You sighed heavily. Would this day ever end?

A movement in the corner of your eye made your heart leap. A customer coming towards your till?! At this hour? No-one is up at this time unless they have to be, like you. You knew you, had you been shopping, would have left the town centre hours ago.

He headed towards your till bank since you were first. You turned around properly and said your usual greeting at this time. 

"Hi! Welcome to...to..."

You internally screamed. You'd know that mop of black unruly hair anywhere. Dan Howell. Danisnotonfire. Actual 5 year old and your favourite YouTuber Dan Howell. And he was in front of your till bank holding a pair of oven gloves and looking incredibly uncomfortable. 

You convinced yourself not to freak out enough to scan his oven gloves into the system. 

"That'll be £15 please, sir." You said in as chirpy voice as you could muster. 

But then you looked at him. He didn't look well. Like, at all. He looked pale, even for all the times you'd seen him in his videos. And he looked like he was flushing around his neck. He swayed a little as he got out his black wallet and putting the money on the counter before he looked up at you. 

"Okay...."

He barely got a word out before he staggered and fell backwards. Holy shit. Dan had fainted in the middle of the shop. 

Luckily there were no other customers waiting so you were able to quickly put the money in and secure your till. You ran around to the front. Several of your colleagues called to you and you instructed one of them to call a first aider. You were a qualified first aider yourself, but dealing with a probably concussed and feverish YouTuber was a little out of your comfort range. 

You felt his forehead gently as your colleague, Georgia, ran over. "Geez. He's burning up."

"Urghh..." Dan stirred and tried to get up. 

"Don't you dare, Dan. Stay still." You said automatically, before cursing yourself internally for revealing that you knew who he was. Sod it, you may as well just continue. 

"He's not well at all. Hey, Dan? Do you have anyone we can call for your medical history, or to pick you up? You have a fever. You really need to go home."

"Uh..." Dan grimaced and fumbled for the pocket of his jacket that was closest to you and got out his phone. He unlocked it shakily and it kept slipping out of his hands.

"Here, let me." You offered, pressing the 'Contacts' button.

"Call Phil." Dan said. You scrolled down and pressed the call button before putting it on loudspeaker so Dan could hear. 

It rang through several times. "Hi! Dan, I thought you'd be back."

"Uh..." You began. "This isn't actually Dan. I'm ____ and I'm currently in the kitchenware section of _____. Your friend's just fainted."

"Oh, god, Dan." Phil said worriedly. "Is he okay?"

"M'fine." Dan muttered. 

"Dan?" Phil said. "Do you need me to come and get you?"

"I'll be-"

You cut off Dan. "Yes. He's got a mild concussion and a fever. I'd hazard a guess he couldn't get home by himself. If you could come and get him, that'd be great."

"Hang on, then. I'm on my way." Phil said and you could hear muffled sounds down the end of the phone. You relayed your location to him before hanging up and giving the phone back to Dan, who was sipping water that Georgia had fetched. 

"Thanks." He muttered. 

"No problem." You smile back nervously. You'd always dreamt of meeting him...just not quite in these circumstances.

"So, Dan, why are you wondering round so ill?"

"How do you know my name?"

You blushed slightly. "I hate to embarrass you, but I'm a subscriber. Don't worry, I'm not gonna tweet this. No-one like being ill. You've had enough chaos today."

Dan attempted a small laugh. "Thanks. Sorry about this."

"It's no problem." You said. "____'s always here to save the day."

"I thought your name was Kirsten." Dan said. 

"Huh?" You said, confused. Then you remembered that your name tag was different to your actual name. They hadn't had one with your name on it when you started so you had been assigned a badge. 

"Oh, it isn't my badge."

"Ah."

"May I ask you something?" You say cautiously. 

"Um...I guess." Dan answered, adjusting his fringe. That gesture alone made you think that he was beginning to feel a bit better.

"What's up with the oven gloves? I thought you and Phil had those awesome Pacman ones?" You felt your cheeks going even more scarlet than you last thought about them. Of all the things to ask him. 

"Oh, Phil burnt through them. But they were getting old, anyway. And we needed some for dinner tonight."

"Fair enough. Um, how are you feeling?"

"Just peachy, but a little better, thanks."

The first aider came back with some forms. "Hi, there, Dan, wasn't it? I'm Chris. I can see that ____ has been looking out for you. ______, can I borrow you a second?"

Chris, no! You screamed internally.   
"I'll be right back." You assured Dan. 

 

~

 

Luckily, Chris only wanted you to fill out an incident form in case Dan decided to sue or whatever. You knew he wouldn't, but it was company policy, so you sat next to him and he helped you fill it out.   
You had nearly finished the form when another member of the staff's voice could be heard. 

"He's just over there, sir."

"Thanks for your help." Phil said and came over. "Hey, Dan. Are you okay?"

"I feel a bit crap, but otherwise, yeah."

"Bit of an understatement." You clarified. "His temperature's high. He needs lots of fluid and bedrest."

Dan grumbled and Phil broke into a smile at this reaction. You grinned at Phil.

"I don't know how you put up with him sometimes." I said lightly.   
Phil looked confused for a moment before Dan glanced up at him. 

"Subscriber." He said simply.

"Ah. Well nice to meet you." Phil smiled. "Sorry you had to meet Dan like this."

"It's fine." You waved your hand dismissively. "Take him home and...maybe no Tumblr for a day or two to be on the safe side?"

"Hey!" Dan protested. Phil just grinned.

"Here, let's get you up." You said, offering your arm to Dan, who took it and got up. He clutched his head.

"I feel like I'm Channing Tatum from 21 Jump Street when they're on those drugs." He muttered. He wasn't falling over though, so that was good. Phil offered his arm to Dan. 

"Come on, let's get you home." He sighed. 

"Oh!" You said. "The oven gloves."

"He actually did the shopping?"

"Er...nearly. He was paying when he passed out. The receipt is still there. I'll go and get it."

"Thanks."

You went round the back of the tillbank and grabbed a bag for Dan's oven gloves. 

"Do you know them?" One of your colleagues asked. 

"Er...." You honestly didn't know how to answer that. "Sort of."

You pulled the receipt from the register before pulling out some extra receipt roll and a pen. 

'Hope you feel better soon. If you fancy a coffee and aren't concussed, though...' You wrote before adding your phone number and your name.

You were nineteen, so it was fine, you figured. 

You came back to them and put the receipt in the bag with the oven gloves and gave them to Phil. 

"Thanks for all your help." Phil said with a smile.

"No problem." You smiled, before watching them leave. You could have stayed forever trying to remember what your name was but your shift wasn't over. You trudged back to the tillbank, but this time with a large smile on your face. 

 

~

 

The next day, you had the day off, so you lay in bed on your laptop. Everyone else had gone out for the day, so you'd been free to stay curled up in your Marvel pyjamas and browse Twitter. 

You'd kept your word to Dan and Phil and not tweeted about it. Though Phil had. 

"@AmazingPhil tweeted: Dan went and fainted in the middle of town yesterday. I had to abandon my Shreddies to go and get him!" With a few sad emojis. 

The next tweet was simply Phil clarifying that Dan was in fact, okay, but he wouldn't be tweeting much until he was better. 

Your phone startled you by buzzing next to you. 

"Hello?" You asked before looking at the number, yawning down the line."  
"_____?" A familiar voice said. "It's Dan. Hi."

"Oh, hey, Dan." You said. You tried to say it in a non-freaking-out way, but failed abysmally. 

"Just wanted to thank you for helping out yesterday."

"I-It's fine. How are you doing?"

"I've thrown up once or twice, but otherwise okay."

"Fun." 

"Yeah. Well. Um...if it's okay, though, I'd like to take you up on that coffee offer, to say thanks?"

"I...um, yeah, sure. When?"

"You free Tuesday night?"

"Yeah, I am."

"I'll text you an address. Um...could you not tell anyone?" He said almost nervously.

"Hey, I didn't tell anyone about you falling on your butt in the store."

"Fair enough." Dan laughed.

"So, Tuesday?"

"Tuesday. See you then."

"Er, okay....bye!"

You hung up. Wow. That had been a hell of a weekend. 

You figured it was time to squeal a bit.


End file.
